If I Invite Someone to a Pre-Wedding Event, Do I Have to Invite Them to the Wedding?

So you just got engaged and, after posting a few pics of your new bling on Insta, it’s time to get your wedding planning hat on! Before you can start nailing down big details, like invitations and venue, you need to have a rough idea of how many guests you plan to have. When creating your guest list, keep in mind that there are several pre-wedding events leading up to the big day and anyone invited to one of these events should get an invitation the main event. These pre-wedding events include (but are not limited to) bridal showers, bachelor or bachelorette parties, and engagement parties. Basically, any event before the actual wedding ceremony that is celebrating the wedding. Inviting someone to one of these events but not the wedding insinuates that you don’t value their friendship enough to have them at your special day, but that you do want them to get you a gift. Tacky, right?

To avoid feeling obligated to invite someone to your wedding, keep the guest list for any pre-wedding event to a small group of family and friends that you are certain will get an invitation. This rule also applies to save-the-dates. How awkward would it be to tell someone to save-the-date for a wedding they aren’t invited to?

P.S. Surprise showers and parties, although very thoughtful, can get complicated if the host invites someone the couple wasn’t planning on inviting to the wedding. If you are planning on throwing a surprise shower, make sure to run the guest list by someone who knows the couple very well to avoid putting the bride and/or groom in an uncomfortable situation.